66% profile filled
Last seen 2 years ago
Porn Expert
4744 days on xHamster
26.1K profile views
252 subscribers
357 comments left
Personal information
I am:
King of Butts, 31 years old, female, heterosexual
From:
Salt Lake City, Earth
Seeking:
Nobody
Languages:
English
Occupation:
Professional Procrastinator
Relationship:
Taken
Kids:
No, but maybe want some
Smoking:
Never
Drinking:
Never
Star sign:
Aquarius
Webcam:
Yes
What I look like
Ethnicity:
Mixed
Body type:
Large
Hair length:
Long
Hair color:
Brown
Eye color:
Brown
Height:
5 ft 1 in (155 cm)
Show more

About me

I occasionally take the time to watch porn on here.



A brief description of myself: Short, fat, and a jolly disposition.

List of skills:
-nunchuck skills
-computer hacking skills
-bow hunting skills

Guys only want girls with good skills.

Bonus skills:
-sleeping
-cooking tasty foods (I season well ;O)
-binge watching Naruto
-touchin a weiner
-being a butt
-perfectly honed ability to make everything awkward
-super awesome inability to initiate conversation (this is a skill)

There is like a buttload of gangs on this site that keep wanting me to join because I am pretty good with a bo staff.

Talk to me about:
Rick and Morty
How Daenerys Targaryen sucks
Evil Dead and Ash vs Evil Dead
Music (Esp that good old soulT/funk vibe and some RnB, yee)

Please do:
Have your favorites available! :D I love looking at people's favorite videos, posts, blogs, and photos :B

Other Stuff:

I am pretty awkward all the time and I have weird communication skills, ha.

I get really goofy when talking about the stuff. if you know what I'm talkin' about. That stuffy stuff that is stuffy know what I'm sayin'? I'm talking about dirty stuff, so I'm sorry if I get you all frustrated at some point because of my dorky weird thing I have going on about that, ohoho. I'm pretty bad at dirty talk but I do like answering and asking lewd questionays. :B

I like a lot of things from fishing to volunteer work. I also like a lot of thingy things. ohohohoho

Stuff I like:
Hats
Video games (PC, Xbox, PS4)
Lewd neck kisses yeee :D
Mangos
Piggy banks
Reading (fantasy, textbooks about disease and human physiology)
Cooking
Michael Jackson, yeeeee
Touchin the weiners
BODY HAIRS - bring on the fuzzy chesty bits, naughty bits, leg bits, aha, thank you.



STUFF YOU CAN'T DO!!! (oh noo) D:
No askin to see my butt because I don't have a butt. I was born without a butt. It's quite sad. It makes it difficult to sit comfortably because I'm just legs and back, no butt. How sad :( Rest in pepperonis all my booty gains that I'll never have because I don't have a butt because I was born without one :( RIP to ever being able to use the peach emoji for my buns, not that I can have an emoji for my buns because I don't have buns, oh yes I know, it's so sad. RIP to you if you thought I had any other butt but the anti butt :( concave instead of convex. :( Maybe it's just shy and introverted and that's why it never showed up. :(

Oh how sad it is , not having a butt.
Comments
248
Created
Created Host 3 years ago
to slcpunk : Beheheh currently finishing up Black Clover and a second round of Naruto Shippuden and My Love Story (very cute, I reccomend) But I've also been soop doop into Jujutsu Kaisen lately ?
Reply Original comment
slcpunk 4 years ago
But WHICH anime though
Reply
slcpunk 5 years ago
I hope you've been doing well! Maybe doing a little lewding too...
Reply
ursusarticus
ursusarticus 5 years ago
Thanks for "playing along" I wuz simply curious about what you thought of my profile. I'm Just as "reg lar" as any guy could be, what you see is kinda what you get.
Reply
austinjames2813
austinjames2813 5 years ago
Nice. And I like talking about stuff. I had a lot of stuff when I was younger. Some times I had a few stuffs a day and even different ones. Sometimes at the same time. Regular stuff, kinky stuff, strange! Stuff. A legal stuff. I could go on about stuff. But i am writing about stuff a lot these days because just getting any these days. Unless it’s here : alone by myself
Reply
johnt
johnt 6 years ago
Great profile Thanks for sharing
Reply
shy_cock
Have you ever had this weird thing that when you repeat a word too many times it doesn't make any sense to you anymore until you stop thinking about it? Well. I just finished reading your profile and I'm having this feeling right now with the word "butt" :) With "stuff" too, but this word doesn't make sense even when it does, so... Yeah, I should probably go to bed now :)
Reply
Seannoland
I too lack a butt. I know it sucks. :| Makes sitting a real pain in the ass
Reply
arseventy2 7 years ago
I'm not just a Time Lord, I'm the last of the Time Lords.
Reply
sonnycrocket1 7 years ago
this is genius 
Reply
whoopster
whoopster 7 years ago
Deliciously quirky! Love it! Hope we can chat sometime...
Reply
IceColdTea
IceColdTea 7 years ago
do it :3
Reply
IceColdTea
IceColdTea 7 years ago
Yes I am :(
Reply
bentleyboy95 7 years ago
I know it for years ?? Xx
Reply
bentleyboy95 7 years ago
D And P And B And Nathern and J bloody hell X
Reply
IceColdTea
IceColdTea 7 years ago
are you dead? D:
Reply
35whelen
35whelen 7 years ago
Did you get new nunchucks for Christmas?
Reply
vivosomo
LMAO
Reply
vivosomo
Pickle Riiiiiiiiiick!!!!!!!!!
Reply
madbass
madbass 7 years ago
Good Morning from the front lines of Hurricane Irma
Reply
35whelen
35whelen 7 years ago
Do you have mad nunchuck skills?
Reply
whoopster
whoopster 7 years ago
THe next Doctor is going to be a woman.... not you is it?
Reply
nutunth009-
nutunth009- 8 years ago
creativity only the men ability .
Reply
whoopster
whoopster 8 years ago
Great page! I wonder if there is any (weird) Dr Who porn on here that we can watch together. I love mangos as well!
Reply
Created
Created Host 8 years ago
to ian1963a : Never tried it
Reply Original comment
ian1963a 8 years ago
hav u ever attempted to fist your self? be honest plz
Reply
doritobeast
doritobeast 8 years ago
You seem pretty awesome hehe ^_^ There's nothing wrong with being awkward, but I agree that it is a skill to not be able to initiate a conversation. I am fairly skilled at that myself. Anyways, nice to see some interesting people in this otherwise uninteresting state.
Reply
RICK_055 8 years ago
Very cool and unique profile page ;) ;)
Reply
twitchums
twitchums 8 years ago
Your profile is fun and funny!
Reply
wixxman 8 years ago
a really fun profile. I loved it
Reply